Tag Archives: pop culture

Top Ten Reasons Why Freddy Krueger = Alcoholism

“Look at us, we’re dropping off like flies here!” – Teen in ‘Nightmare’ 4

1. Freddy never dies no matter how hard you fight him (burning, decapitation, burying, holy water, none of that shit worked).  He is really, really hard to kill, much like the “800 pound gorilla”.
2. He targets teens of parents who tried to destroy him (the genetic component)…hmmm, a family legacy.
3. He uses your worst fears against you (not unlike the alcoholic mind)
4. He trys to get his teenage victims to recruit their friends for him (peer pressure?).  So while the curse is often handed down from the parents, it can also be passed from friend to friend.
5. He steals your soul and feeds off it, which makes him more powerful. “The souls of my children!”
6. The mother of the O.G. Victim, Nancy, was an obvious lush.  Hmmm…
7. In part 2 he possesses a teen whose girlfriend must appeal to the real him inside to exorsize him out.  Who among us doesn’t know what it’s like to try and reach the person inside the sociopathic, monstrous drunk?  “! I know you’re in there somewhere!”
8. He kills teens and makes it look like suicide, much like accidental overdoses and alcohol poisoning.
9. He makes his victims look crazy so that they are institutionalized, much like they used to do with alcoholics when they didn’t know what else to do with us.
10. Didn’t you always wonder why those kids didn’t just get some cocaine to stay up?  What is this Diet Coke bullshit?

Wes Craven, are you a friend of Bill?

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