– The film also touches on the idea of selling your soul for fame and glory, as the Maroon 5 wannabe band literally did. They would rather sacrifice Jennifer’s Body than ravage it, just so they could be “rich and awesome” and have their favorite M&M colors in their hotel room. The irony is that they want the fame and money that gives them pimp power so they can GET girls like Megan Fox! Adam Brody’s character calls to mind far too many guyliner and manscara-wearing hipster assholes I’ve met in my time. I can’t really blame Needy for slicing and dicing them. Oh yeah, and what happens to Jennifer after she gets in the van with them? She becomes hollow and evil and loses her soul, needing to feed on boys to literally survive. I relate.
-If you read the above, you will see the film is also subtly about sex and love addiction. When she doesn’t have a boy she’s hollow, cranky, empty; when she does, she’s “really pretty and glowy”. Fucking brilliant.
The only question I have is why Diablo Cody chose to cast not-so-hot boys for her to eat. Is it because they’re more expendable?
2. ‘Teeth’ – This indie flick is not for the squeamish or anyone with a penis, as the main character bites them off with her vagina dentata. This film is hilarious and sick, but a cautionary tale against divorce and remarriage, highlighting the perverse chaos and confusion it can cause between opposite-sex siblings. This revenge flick also makes women feel strangely empowered watching it. The main character pretty much did what Lorena Bobbitt did. She’s like a female Dexter who targets sex offenders. Man-haters rejoice. This film also takes the theory of evolution to a different level; you know how certain animals have built in body parts that protect them from their otherwise superior predators? In ‘Teeth’, her anomaly is just a hot virgin’s best defense against all those horny teenagers and dirty old men who try to rape her. In real life all we have is pepper spray.
3. ‘The Last House on the Left’ – Another cringe-inducing revenge tale, but I thought it was wonderfully acted and suspenseful, and is one of the most visceral revenge films I’ve ever seen. A girl gets brutally raped and left for dead and her attackers coincidentally seek refuge at her unknowing parents’ house. Oh, the suspense! Aaron Paul is a really nice guy, so I feel guilty about how much I enjoyed the scene where his hand gets put down the garbage disposal and he gets a hammer to the skull. This film also goes to show you that if your son dies, another one will show up at your doorstep begging to be taken away from his abusive father! One question, though. If a guy raped your daughter and tried to kill her, then terrorized your family, and you had him paralyzed in your basement, wouldn’t you want to do more than just stick his head in the microwave? Torture him first, Tony Goldwyn! You were the villain from ‘Ghost’!
4. ‘A Perfect Getaway’
– This film was beautifully shot, suspenseful, and has Timothy Olyphant in it. Plus it boasts a pre-Thor Chris Hemsworth with his shirt off. But other than that, I thought it was really smart and keeps you guessing. It reminds you that appearances can be deceiving, so don’t judge a book by its cover. It teases the audience by having the characters talking about the very plot twists we are watching, making us wonder who the red herring actually is. I love any serial killer flick, but this one was unique in that it addresses the women who love serial killers as well. It’s like a movie version of the ID show “Wicked Attraction”. This film is also about addiction to a person and codependency ruining your life. “I know that your need for detachment fits my need for attachment”. Go to an Al-Anon meeting, homegirl!
5. ‘Wicker Park’
– The reason I like this underrated Josh Hotnett film is because it’s not a cliche. It’s not your typical suspense/psychological thriller in that there’s NO MURDER involved in the big reveal (spoiler alert). In that sense it differs from the ‘Fatal Attraction’s of the world (like ‘Swimfan’). It kind of gets old when the “villain” is evil because he/she kills. Can’t people do other bad things? Sometimes non-violent mind-fuck manipulation is worse. I also love the fact that three out of the four people involved all behave stalkeriffically, so it’s not as black and white as other character studies. There is technically only one non-stage-five-clinger in the plot This film also jumps back and forth in time, using jumbled chronology to tell an atypical story about a love triangle. It makes you think. An interesting point of fact is that it could be compared to ‘Fatal Attraction’, and Glenn Close was in ‘Damages’ with Rose Byrne.
6. ‘Don Juan DeMarco’ – I appreciated this movie even more after beginning my Masters in psychology because I understood the terminology. This film-that-got-no-play was one of those life-changers for me. It made me re-examine my life and strive for more in it. It reminds me of Paulo Coelho’s book, ‘Veronika Decides to Die’, which explores the thin line between daring to be different and being insane. Is Johnny Depp’s character crazy because he sees the world differently than most? Who cares? He gets laid constantly!
BTW, it’s Johnny Depp, shirtless with a Castillian accent being romantical. How could it not be good? If you’re a dreamer or a hopeless romantic, or just plain crazy, this movie is for you.
7. ‘Freeway‘ – A twisted modern-day re-telling of ‘Little Red Riding Hood’, only the big bad wolf is a serial killer and little red is a hood rat! Who knew southern belle Reese Witherspoon could play illiterate white trash so well? This movie is cheesy and plain wrong at times, and I often want to drop-kick the continuity editor, but otherwise it’s hilarious and quotable. Example: “Why are you doing this?” “Because I’m pissed off and the whole world owes me! Now gimme your goddamn money!”
Plus the late great Brittany Murphy plays a lesbian junkie. Indie gold.
8. ‘Black Snake Moan’ – Okay, first of all, this movie starts off with a love scene involving Justin Timberlake. That should be the end of the story but it ain’t. This under-appreciated film was probably better than the award winning film by the same writer-director, Craig Brewer, ‘Hustle and Flow’ (though it’s not fair to say since I didn’t bother to see it.) The edgy film examines the link between childhood sexual abuse and sex addiction, as well as issues of anxiety disorders that go unacknowledged in certain parts of the country.
It’s also very quotable: “She got that sickness…What I’m saying is, she gotta get dick, or she goes crazy.”
The controversial chains with which Samuel L. Jackson binds Christina Ricci to his heater, in my opinion, represent the structure and discipline (or tough love if you will) that the character so desperately needs. Why else was she able to finally sleep at night when binding herself tightly in them?This movie shows that two people can be extremely “fucked up” and have all kinds of issues but still love each other.
“Rae” reminds me of a white trash version of me.If you do watch it, do yourself a favor and savor the hilarity of the scene in which the young teen Lincoln comes a-knockin!
9. ‘Repo Men’ – What happens when a repo man who works for an artificial organ company needs an artificial organ? Violence and hilarity ensues. Oh, the irony!
I like this movie because it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The fact that I was cracking up for most of it, which was dark and gory, tells me there’s something wrong with me. If I were a producer pitching this script, I’d describe it as ‘Vanilla Sky’ meets ‘Fight Club’.
It’s basically a dark comedy about the evils of consumerism, and a revenge fantasy.
And there’s a love scene involving lots of blood. Yes, you heard me. Blood. Lots of it. I’m sick.
10. ‘Mr. Brooks’ – I know, another serial killer movie. What you must think of me by now. But I loved this movie, even though Dane Cook is in it. It was just very poorly marketed. I remember seeing the ads and thinking “Who the fuck is Mr. Brooks and why should we care?”
“Mr. Brooks” is Kevin Costner and William Hurt is his alter ego / subconscious / “Dark Passenger” named Marshall. Mr. Brooks is the only one who can see the Marshall character, which I thought was inventive.
This is a dark comedy about how serial murder becomes an addiction like anything else. This is clearly where Dexter got its season 2 premise from (serial killer goes to 12 step, burying bodies in open graves), but no one noticed because no one saw this movie!
I could have done without Demi Moore hot cop cliche, but her sub-plot was sort of interesting too. It’s thrilling with fun twists and turns, and I have never liked Kevin Costner more. I have to wonder if Dexter also named it’s season six “big bad”, Travis Marshall, after this character.
11. ‘Abandon’ – The screenwriter of ‘Traffic’ also wrote this dark, interesting and little-known Katie Holmes film about a grad student with severe daddy abandonment issues. Quiet and haunting, this is a very important movie for girls. I watch it every time I feel my own abandonment issues bubbling up. It doesn’t hurt that a pre-‘Sons of Anarchy’ Charlie Hunnam is the wraith-like torturous abandoner. And I like how they made spur-annoying Zooey Deschanel blonde so she wouldn’t be too similar to Katie Holmes. Benjamin Bratt’s recovering alcoholic is on point. Any movie with Tony Goldwyn (even when he’s an ethics-free therapist) is okay by me. I love the twist ending. But most of all, I love this abandoned girl. I love the fact that this movie shows how depressed she is when she is missing her ex; how haunted, how unanimated. There she is: a brilliant and self-made grad student who came from nothing and got into a great school. She’s almost finished with her thesis, she has brains, beauty, friends and a prestigious and coveted post-grad school job offer complete with an expense account. And all she can think of is her douchebag narcissist ex boyfriend who left her and the alcoholic cop who’s trying to find him. She’s about to give up the opportunity of her lifetime–one we’ve seen her drudgingly work towards in a zombie like state during the entire movie, so she can spend the summer in New Hampshire with the cop who “doesn’t even know this is what she’s thinking”. When her friend points out, “The last time you were this irrational was with Embry!” She says pathetically, “Maybe that’s the last time I was happy!” If that doesn’t paint the portrait of a woman whose happiness depends, not on her own accomplishments, but on whether a man wants her, I don’t know what does.
P.S. It’s not at all what the trailer implies.